COUNTING TEARDROPS

COUNTING TEARDROPS

BY: BERTHA

Tell me how a stranger love sincerely

Somehow between the oceans you knew me

I’m bleeding in your arms when you claimed my heart

 

 

 

Those silly love stories fooled me

Did you even really see me?

When you’ve been blind from the start

 

 

 

And I tried to run away while you asked me to stay

So I can mend your broken heart

I fought the numbness to get to your soul

Now I’m the one suffering with your scars

 

 

 

Chorus

Don’t ask, don’t feel but watch me cry

Even if you don’t deserve to see my tears

Now I’m holding tightly to emptiness

Counting teardrops of my heart

 

 

 

Don’t ask, don’t feel but watch me breakdown

Even if you don’t deserve to see me weak

Keep the picture of pain in your memory

As you count the teardrops of my heart

 

So many times I imagine you as you sleep

I’d push myself in your dreams

I held you close as the wind gets steep

 

 

 

My senses fooled me

You never really wanted me?

Somehow I knew I needed to be free

 

 

 

 

And I tried to run away while you asked me to stay

So I can mend your broken heart

I fought the numbness to get to your soul

Now I’m the one suffering with your scars

 

 

 

 

Chorus

Don’t ask, don’t feel but watch me cry

Even if you don’t deserve to see my tears

Now I’m holding tightly to emptiness

Counting teardrops of my heart

 

 

 

Don’t ask, don’t feel but watch me breakdown

Even if you don’t deserve to see me weak

Keep the picture of pain in your memory

As you count the teardrops of my heart

 

 

 

Just keep on counting teardrops of my heart

 

SKY PARAGLIDER

 

 

 

Sky Paraglider

 

By: Bertha

 

I’ve decided not to fight the storm and stood in the middle of the havoc

Maybe I could learn to read the stars then I would be prepared for the chaos in my heart

On my knees I whispered to the earth that cradled my tears

May a flower bloom in the midst of scorn

Like a child a broken heart was new to me

A perfect stranger was a fallacy

A realist caught in a confusing fantasy

Broken families, intense miseries

The sky was my only blanket from loneliness

The vast universe was a bed that could grant me deep slumber

A bird with no wings, a fish out of the ocean

A yearning so strong, the towering trees seems inviting

I clasped the straps that gave me wings

I longed for the clouds embrace

 For a moment I would feel how to own the sky

And the fear won’t drown my determination to try

Slowly I ran, one step at a time

Not rushing for death

For only time can reveal a pure heart

Patience can overcome distance and insanity

Trials and separation gives birth to loyalty

So here I come after a calculated risk

A Sky Paraglider claiming love

       A Sky Paraglider jumping off a cliff    

 

Breakaway Kelly Clarkson
 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3q-j-b5ia94

 

 

 



PRISM

 

 

 

PRISM

By:Bertha

 

 

There under the broken ceiling of a cold castle

Stood the clouds that hides the warm beam of the sun

As droplets of water falls on my forehead

And trickles down on my neck and chills the boredom of my youth

I inhale the misty air of looming memories of days old

Dancing with the wind on my shoulders

Finger entwined on the deep curls of my hair

I grasp what seems to be an invincible wall

Caressing it gently with my soft warm hands

As it slowly crumbles and kiss the ground

I have freed myself from the burdens of fear

Gently with hopeful eyes I watched the sun

peek through the open sky where clouds seems

to wave goodbye

Though the heavens did not cease to shed it

tears there was beauty in the midst of the

tiny droplets of diamonds that bathe me in

pure ecstasy

It created a world of rainbows where once was

dull and full of apathy

Although the storm has not passed, and the

tremors is imminent

I gaze on colourful sunshine that kisses the

rain….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Away from Heaven

"Sometimes we simply have to learn from that little child inside all of us...."

A teen guardian angel who made a fiasco with one of her past charge was sent back to fix it only to find out that she has transformed into a tough hearted influential grown-up woman, and the only way to correct it is to posses her body every now and then.

The Unwanted Child By: Bertha

THE UNWANTED CHILD

CHAPTER THREE

A MAN’S STRUGGLE

               A woman lie in her bed as she violently tossed and turned, breathing rapidly, she suddenly opened her eyes and abruptly sat on her bed as she try to toss away the nightmare that has hunted her,  she sobbed as her two sleek female hands covered her teary eyed face.

               Then suddenly John felt a pang of pain at the back of his neck that instantly woke him up from that disturbing dream with his face half buried on top of his desk. He was reading a bunch of documents which have piled incredibly at his desk when he unknowingly dozed off, it was half past ten when John Salcedo realized he had a party to go to. But somehow at the back of his mind he has been really bothered by that re-occurring dream.

               Though John was brought up in a very well and sound surrounding and raised by devoted Catholic parents he felt numb inside, there was always this sense of loneliness and emptiness in his heart, he could not express his emotions. So most of the time he simply follow what his brain tells him to do rather than his heart, for he himself does not trust his own heart.

               But for the first time in 38 years John heard a tiny voice inside of him that seems to come from the beating of his heart, as he stood in front of this woman whose eyes sets of a feeling of exhaustion. There was this tiny spark that somehow sent shiver to his spine.

Dana spoke politely trying to hide her disappointment “ I’m sorry but my calling card has not been made yet, and my number is international roaming so it would be impractical to give it .”

John replied “well it seems I have misplaced mine, but anyway since Jeana is your cousin we’ll probably bumped into each other again, oh it's getting really late will you be alright? I mean will Jeana’s driver will bring you home tonight?”

“I appreciate your concern, I was hoping she would remember her promise but knowing Jeana, but no worries I have a company driver waiting outside for me, since I just flew in this morning it will be at my disposal for a while till I get a hang of the new environment.” Dana said with a light laugh.

Then suddenly John felt a shock of vibration in his pocket, realizing it was his mobile phone he reached out for it and excused himself to answer it. The glow on John’s face left as soon as it appeared....

“Hello?” “Dad what seems to be the matter, you sound very weak?”

“What? Mom collapsed?” John said with a very pale expression.

“Okay I’m on my way” John hurriedly walked out to the door without even saying a polite nod and farewell to Dana.

               John with cold hands pushed opened the door to the emergency room, he felt light headed due to unpleasant emotions mixed with physical exhaustion, he saw his father sitting with his hands on his face on a chair near the door.

“Dad!” John said as he rushed to his father’s side.

John with a shivering voice asked “Dad are you okay? What happened to mom?”

His father answered wearily “She was clutching her chest while she was praying, then suddenly she fell of her chair, good thing I was there beside her, she asked me for the first time not to go to my friends it’s a good thing I was the....” his voice trailed off. 

“Dad don’t worry, mom will pull through she’ll be okay, she’s a very strong woman she will be okay” John said in assurance.

“Oh I know, she promised me she will be my partner till the end, she will not leave me.” Lando Salcedo said with tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

              

The Heartbreak Song

BY: BERTHA

Mending pieces of a broken heart

Is the hardest thing if you don’t know where to start

It takes all your will and bring you to your knees

Leaving you with nothing but a blind eye to see

Still your hopes are up waiting for the sun

To breakdown the walls of a shattered egoistic man

You prayed, and you cried anticipating old love will be revived

Trying to keep all the good memories alive

Chorus:

But tell me how will love survive

If the melody can’t be found

When the heart is numb, and hears no sound

All the visions on TV, they bleed like corpse

And it swept daylight with a mighty force

Arrogance claimed a thousand cheers

For a heartbreak song that could not shed a single tear

So tell me how, tell me how, how will love survive?

Two hearts drifted apart when the music died

The voices in my head are out of tune

The songs we used to dance are gone so soon

Promises spoken in the name of love

Honestly broken by someone you never had  

Still your hopes are up waiting for the sun

To breakdown the walls of a shattered egoistic man

You prayed, and you cried anticipating the music of love will be revived

Trying to keep all the good memories alive

Chorus:

Bridge:

Maybe in heaven, the music will never end,

There we will find what we lost

Exist for the things we cherished the most  

GRAFITTI

To seek the truth in the eyes of each stranger that wanders by this lonely road

A rainbow created words on these cold stoned walls that brought the warmth of summer under the winter rain

It screams a man’s pain to the world that has embraced a bleeding heart

A story once told on this dark corner of the world that had shed tears of a soul on its knees

He lost all his faith in the midst of glorified battles

Scared and wounded he holds himself in a tight embrace

Each stroke, the brush and spray that breathe on this bare hedge

It creeps in the night as you slumber in your bed and it strikes every inch of being in your waking hours

To clamour for the lost of innocence, the purity of love, the immortality of art

He made each image in his mind a breathing symbol of undying love,

A fortress against the corruption of the heart

To bring the broken to life, for this stranger weeps in grotesque, on an abandoned lodge

THE UNWANTED CHILD

CHAPTER TWO

  A BRAND NEW LIFE

           

            Four heavy Italian leather trolleys stood beside a sleek and slender fair skinned woman standing five feet and four inches high wearing a classic blue and orange geometric print shirt dress and a pair of summer dainty silver sandals, she patiently waited in front of the arrival area at a local airport. Dana Tiocson with a pair of Gucci oversized sunglasses on her sweet fine silky bronze toned face hailed a taxi cab under the scorching heat of the afternoon sun.

           Dana just flew in from New York, she had just accepted a two year contract from a large British pharmaceutical company who branched out in the east, she had been working for one of the best hospital in the US for the past eight years, now in her mid thirties Dana after twenty five years decided to move back to her native land.   

             Dr. Dana Tiocson a graduate of New York University Medical school, a paediatrician is the middle child of a widow who migrated in the US in the eighties and remarried an American national; her mother had two more children in her second marriage. Dana has been struggling emotionally; she is trying to recover from a horrible past. She was hoping that maybe with the new environment, she will be able to put back together her broken self and put the past behind her.     

           Dana opened the door of her new pad in the middle of the city, she took a deep breath, exhaled and whispered to herself, “So this must be the smell of a new life....”. Dana flung her branded leather bag on the couch and shut the door behind her, on her way to the bathroom she heard her mobile ringing, she stopped and turned around wondering who could be calling her at this time when the times zones from where she was and where she came from are truly far apart, taking a deep breath she curiously answered “Hello?”....

        The maid led Dana to the pool side of a three story luxurious and lavish home of one of her very      closest relatives, she stood in the middle of the living room trying to find a familiar face in the crowd. It’s been so long since she went to a gathering where most of the people don’t know her. It was a very private party among very close foreign friends and relatives whom she has not seen for a couple of years now. As she walked through the crowd of unfamiliar faces suddenly the room gave her a sense of nostalgia.

         She had a flash of her childhood days.  Her father was teaching her and her sister to ride a bike, while in a trance she accidentally bumped into a tall and dark handsome intellectual looking man. They both locked in a gazed for a few seconds as the man swiftly reached out to steady her, and as soon as both of them got back to their senses the handsome stranger broke the silence and introduced himself as John and offered a handshake, Dana took the handshake with a weak response due to a travel jet lag.      

        Hours passed and to Dana’s amazement she found herself enjoying a very light conversation with this stranger whose outside appearance seems to show a very serious persona. And as the flow of the conversation got deeper, it made Dana realized that John’s family seems to have close ties with her cousin’s family.

       John could not remember how far back he had really enjoyed talking to a stranger, especially to a woman, when truthful he knew how hard it is for someone like him to open up and talk about life. Although most of the time he was surrounded by empowered women, but most of them seem to be in the middle of a gender identity crisis, due to their tiger like personalities that eventually sends any man in his good mind to his fierce defense.

        Suddenly out of nowhere the host of the party Dana’s cousin Jeana approached them with a big grin on her face and said in a very well mannered voice, “Hello cousin, so it seems you have met the man of the hour.”

         Dana answered in a surprised but teasing manner “ Man of the hour, oh really? So to whom do I owe the honor of speaking to you?”    

        John answered with a heartily laugh “Jeana, so tell me how long has it been, two days...? Well were enjoying a no brainer conversation here really, so let’s not drag in complicated things shall we....”

“Oh I don’t know John, it’s your aura it seems to give off royalty can’t help but get royalty flushed, must be that broad shoulders and manly features,” Jeana said with a few hand gestures, “ and you my dearest cousin, whom I have not laid eyes for the longest time, you seem to have blossom to a rare species over time, come and give sweet me a hug.”

“Lovely to see you too cuz,” Dana said as she locked herself in a tight embrace.

“Now as much as I want to stay for chit chat,” she whispered “ I can see that people are still the same, the party always starts at midnight, well I have no choice but be the door man for awhile, Dana sweetie I’ll get back to you later” she waved as she walked towards the door.

          And as the night went on, Dana knew in her heart that she was right where she needed to be.

MIDA’S Wife: A grieving heart

I longed for his touch,

But he stared at me with longing eyes,

I could not take one step closer for I will cease to exist,

What is this curse that had fallen to two yearning heart destined to love for all their breathing moment when the heavens have blessed them?

I remember when he took my hand for the first time he twirled me in circles, like flamingos dancing on a flower bed lake.

The stars swayed the moon sang in sweet lovely tune and the wind built an invisible fortress around our fragile youth,

Should a story that began in glittering color end in such a tragedy of selfish desires,

I have in every way questioned his heart “My dear Midas why have you yearned for the world’s wealth with the touch of your fingers when I am standing right beside you, have you not won a thousand battle, sailed a thousand seas and in your prime age should we not just watch our offspring's decedents play and run in the humble garden as they make sand castle in a box, how could you live when I am an inch away from you but I could not feel the warmth of your touch”

“Oh Midas I suffer from this useless ambition, I suffer from the lost of your presence, for this is the same as death, your wishes has become your lovers curse.”

So with trembling hands Mida’s wife caressed the face of Midas, stroked the hair of her husband while her finger nails slowly turns into cold hard precious metal, tears ran down from her face, with her eyes deeply grieving, her soft skin glowed in the dark, she stood frozen in the middle of the throne room, she’d rather touch him one last time and turned into a statue where he could gaze at her loving face than spend their dying age having the universe between them, and eventually turn into dust. 

ON MY KNEES

A short story: Bertha

There was this man who fought his way through the crowd to find himself standing alone in the spotlight. His sweet cherry colored hair dancing in the neon lights. His perfect pearly smile illuminated the room like moonbeams in the darkest night. He sang spreading his wings like a nightingale bringing joy to lonely hearts in the middle of an enchanted forest, leaving a trail of tears for the broken hearts to find their way home. But his eyes cannot be seen for his gaze is bestowed upon the horizon. He has never touched a single flower that bloomed on his path nor embraced the wind on his shoulder. Tinted glasses rested on his perfectly chiselled nose and onward, forward as always he goes. One night he met the enchantress of the forest whose beauty can sail a thousand vessels in the roughest seas. And for once he started to sing hymns of love for his beating heart. But his Venus object of love was not meant for human possession for she lives and breathes at the command of Mother Nature, to avoid the chaos between man and nature she chose to never again be lead to this temptation of a mortal’s embrace. So gone with the wind is this man’s object of affection, his heart started to violently rebel and pound against his will to live. He clutched his chest as to loosen its circulation, finding himself on his knees. The tinted glasses fell to kiss the ground and broke into pieces, and tears graced upon the earth. Fighting for air he looked up into the heavens and whispered a prayer “Oh help me for I am broken and my heart could not take the pain”. But as he stared into the sky his heart gently lightens, a voice of calmness spoke in his heart “Oh what beauty is found in the clouds, serenity found in the blue skies, all this time my eyes lied to me, life has not abandoned me for I have not seen such wonderful colors nor felt the warmth of the sun”. Then Mother Nature spoke through the trees, “My son if you were not brought to your knees would you have gazed upon the sky, nor acknowledged the sun? you have been fooled by tainted pictures when life is simply within your reach.” So from then he would kneel on his knees and gaze upon the sky, enjoy the sunshine and marvel at the gift bestowed upon every man. THE END.

PITY : A SHORT STORY By: Bertha

A girl sat on a bench on a cold winter day, watching the skies as the dark gray clouds circle around the very shy sun beam that seem to deprive her visions of clear surroundings. Icicles have formed her once bright and humble eyelids.  “How could the snow be more pure than the rain that hid the brokenness of the past” she said in her mind. “I wish for the sparrow in a branch to sing songs of love again in spring, that my longing shall be put to ease, where thou art is the man who was pulled from Adams ribs, and the man that was  born from Eve’s womb, wasn’t he designed to love” she sigh in exhaustion. As passer by gaze upon her lovely face, her eyes spoke in pain and it echoed through the cold frozen stares of strangers who took pity on her. They said with curiosity, this girl has lost her heart in a frightening battle of unrequited love and her rejection has cause her tremendous lost. This man who broke her heart grasp vigorously for his head as it floats and blew so big should he hear the thoughts of these uncaring strangers. He would have said "What foolishness there is with this woman sitting on a park bench under a bare tree with her sleeping gown in front of a large empty park crying like the world is the four corners of her room". With this thought her heart and mind spoke to her in in chilled wisp of air “Yes the world may see me cry, I will not hide my tears, the world may see me break I will not hide my weaknesses, should they rejoice on my errors, should they shame me with my wounds and scars that has brought me endless tears, they should take heart that in the journey of life I had the courage to love, I had the courage to live, I had the courage to fall and pick myself up again.”  “Yes what foolishness I bring to a very cold winter day, but pity I shall not let it in for this broken heart was made for true love.”  “I have not lost my dignity for in accepting that brokenness was made to humble me gained me myself respect.” “So pity is the man I have loved and rejected me for He will never know the purity of foolishness that true love brings”.        

THE UNWANTED CHILD (A Short Story)

CHAPTER ONE

BROKEN DREAMS

               Lita was in her early twenties, round chubby cheeks, petite and fair skinned, she sat in her small cramped room in a dark corner behind a rusty bed. Tears of despair is falling down her cheeks, her clothes crumpled in a mess as it clings loosely to her young bruised body while blood gushed through her slender thighs. She didn’t know Ted would turn out to be a fierce monster, it was wrong of her to trust him, her boyfriend the son of a wealthy family whom she adored blindly for three years, a laid back person who had no plans and hopes for the future, savagely raped her together with his two friends.  She clutched her heaving chest, as memories of her lover’s face and his six feet bulging muscular body, attacked and forced its way into her five feet, slender and fragile, chaste body. She hit her head repeatedly with her closed fist as she struggled to silent her mind and pushed all the vicious scenes away, but her soul screamed so loud that it could raise all the fallen angels from hell, she hugs herself as she rocks back and forth like a child while every veins and muscle in her shakes in agony.

               It has been a month since that incident and she felt all the symptoms of a pregnant woman, she didn’t have the courage to file a complaint against her aggressor for she feared that justice will not side with her, for she was a poor girl whose was lucky enough to be granted a scholarship so she barely had enough to sustain her everyday needs. Both of her parents were farmers, she has two siblings and both are in their toddler years. She knew the price of justice in her country, she didn’t want to risk the humiliation and strife the trial may bring and add sufferings to her poverty stricken family. So she decided to keep her mouth shut and suffer in silence. She simply told herself “I don’t need justice; I just need to get rid of this baby and pretend nothing happened, right Lita?” she told herself softly as she walks slowly to ride a jeepney to an abortion clinic somewhere in the city.

 On her way to the clinic Lita saw an orphanage, as she tried to turn the curve, it was as if her entire body was being pulled in the direction of the orphanage, suddenly something in her, a voice that told her deep inside “Don’t kill your baby, give it up for adoption, a couple will be more than happy to have the baby.”  Lita thought she was going crazy because she was starting to hear voices in her head, so she pounded her skull like she usually does and started to walk slowly with hands shaking towards the clinic.

Lita took the first step towards the entrance, she saw a woman in a stretcher covered with blood, her half body was covered with a blanket, her legs spread lifelessly away from each other, her face was as white as the sheet on her lifeless chest.

 Doctors were all shouting at each other “Revive her, revive her!” as they wheeled her away to another room, then on a corner Lita saw a man standing still hardly breathing, his eyes were gazing upon the lifeless woman on the stretcher, his young and sophisticated face was filled with guilt and terror.

Suddenly a gust of wind slapped Lita back to reality, how long has she been standing at the entrance of the clinic, she doesn’t really know.  It seems time stood still as she witnessed all those terrifying scenes. She couldn’t move her legs any further, her body refused to enter the forsaken abortion clinic, so she turned around fiercely running towards the busy street, away from the horrible filthy smell of the cursed building.       

Tears violently ran down Lita’s face as she walked down the curve, like a mad woman, choking between sobs as a large wave of emotions drowns her senses, she whispered to herself “I’m sorry baby but I have no means to raise you, I really don’t....want... to kill you, but every day I would have to relive the horror in my mind, and I have nothing more to give you....” she felt her knees give in on her, she slowly dropped on the sidewalk with both knees on the ground.

Then suddenly she felt a gentle touch on her shoulder and a consoling voice above her “My daughter are you alright?”.  Slowly Lita raised her head to see who it was, it belonged to a woman whose smile was like an angel, she was wearing a habit and a cross on her chest, Lita found herself kneeling in front of the orphanage gate.

soon to be posted....